The Diaries of Wendy Wensum Episode 103: As You Like It

Millie and I were sitting out for two boards in the evening duplicate pairs at the Riverside BC. I was telling her about a trip to London. It had started badly at Norwich station when the train was delayed for twenty minutes by a signal failure. Spouse and I were heading for the Globe Theatre in London. It was an extremely hot day and there was another delay with a points’ problem. We would normally walk from Liverpool Street station to the South Bank, but now running well behind schedule; we decided to catch a number 11 bus. Bad move. Unknown to us the service was on diversion and we alighted some way from our intended stop at St Paul’s cathedral. With Spouse leading the way, we meandered back towards the Thames, crossing the river at Millennium Bridge only to find our restaurant reservation had been cancelled. This was not totally unexpected as we were now over an hour late. We finally took our seats in the Globe for the afternoon performance of As You Like It and thoroughly enjoyed the play. Fortunately the journey home was uneventful.

At this point, commotion in the bridge room indicated that the move had been called; with drinks in hand, Millie and I wandered back to our table where the following board awaited us.

Following three passes, Millie opened 2♦️, an artificial opening with game-forcing values. East and West passed throughout. I gave the artificial negative response of 2♦️. Millie’s 2NT showed a balanced 24–25 HCP. With a long heart suit I bid 3♥️ as a transfer. Millie obliged with 3♥️. So far; so good. In case Millie held four spades, I bid 3♠️ to give her a choice of trump suits. Millie now bounced to 6NT thus ending the auction.

¹ Artificial, game force
² Relay
³ 24–25 HCP
⁴ Hearts

West led her ♣️K. Millie proceeded speedily and rather crossly to take the obvious ten top tricks for two off, an absolute bottom. Most of the field had finished in 4❤️. A minority had reached 6❤️ making all thirteen tricks. In the pub later we discussed the board with Jo and Kate. Their sequence had started the same as ours, but finished more abruptly.

Millie was still annoyed with my bid of 3♠️. ‘What was that all about?’ she asked accusingly. I explained that with shortages in the minors I was offering her a choice of trump suits in case she held four spades. I suggested that knowing that I held at least nine cards in the majors she should have realised I was unlikely to offer any help with the minors in a no-trump contract. Unwisely I also noted that with the ♠️Q and ♦️K favourable she can make one more trick. To be fair this manoeuvre would have added nothing to our match-point tally, as all the other North–South scores were positive. Millie defence was instant: ‘Maybe after my 6NT, you should convert to 7❤️.’ With some restraint, I held back from remarking, ‘Your 6NT bid may have been As You Like It, but it was certainly not As I Like It.’ Playing with Millie is rather like a trip to London; there is always a need to expect the unexpected.

Discussion then centred on whether 6❤️ was a reasonable contract to reach. It appears that the certain tricks are six hearts, three spades, one diamond and one club. A favourable layout in diamonds or spades then gives the extra trick.